Just Thinking

The Final Edition

Our 6 month fling he threw away
Like yesterday's newspaper.
Without any regard to how I would feel
because he wasn't willing to read anymore.

He used to love my Local Section
daily monitoring my inner city news.
He kept up with my State Section too
making sure not to look over any of my major areas.

He read my Sports Section daily
Keeping up with the latest highlights.
The Business Section he always read first
He says "Handle your business 1st & then you can play all you want."

My Entertainment section was one of his favorites
he made sure to visit all the hotspots in the area.
He even paid attention to my editorial page
like what I thought really meant something to him.

Then one day maybe he thought he saw us in the obituaries
or maybe he glanced at the marriage announcements and panicked.
Maybe he read the family section
and decided to give his son's mom another try.

Whatever the case he threw me away
like yesterday's newspaper.
Didn't even bother to pick up today's
counting on tomorrow's edition to be better.

This is the final edition of la cosa nostra
Goodbye

The Heart of the Matter

What my heart knew was right, was wrong.

What it knew was good, was bad.

What it knew was forever, was temporary.

What it knew was real, was fake.

What it knew was true, was false.

What it knew was special, was ordinary.

What it knew was for me, was not.

So my heart just lied to me. Over and over again. It made me believe in a fairy tale, which I know doesn't exist.

So now I don't know anything. I pray that I don't rebuild the walls that were blocking access to my heart. It's kind of hard not to though.

I gave him my heart. He didn't know how to take care of it. So here I am picking up the pieces. Super gluing them back together. Hoping it doesn't make my heart to hard for the guy that God created to take care of it in the first place.

Have to forgive him for not knowing any better. That's my fault to, probably should have done some type of investigation or background check. Need new memories to replace the existing ones, so that I am not always remembering the past.

He wasn't ready or willing. That's not something I can change, I accept what is, is.

I don't know what the future holds. "If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever." (Doug Horton) Experience tells me to let go and move on, cause they never come back. Maybe like the others, he'll patch things up with his ex and they'll live happily ever after.

What I really want to know is, if you can't trust your heart, what can you trust?