The Heart of the Matter

What my heart knew was right, was wrong.

What it knew was good, was bad.

What it knew was forever, was temporary.

What it knew was real, was fake.

What it knew was true, was false.

What it knew was special, was ordinary.

What it knew was for me, was not.

So my heart just lied to me. Over and over again. It made me believe in a fairy tale, which I know doesn't exist.

So now I don't know anything. I pray that I don't rebuild the walls that were blocking access to my heart. It's kind of hard not to though.

I gave him my heart. He didn't know how to take care of it. So here I am picking up the pieces. Super gluing them back together. Hoping it doesn't make my heart to hard for the guy that God created to take care of it in the first place.

Have to forgive him for not knowing any better. That's my fault to, probably should have done some type of investigation or background check. Need new memories to replace the existing ones, so that I am not always remembering the past.

He wasn't ready or willing. That's not something I can change, I accept what is, is.

I don't know what the future holds. "If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever." (Doug Horton) Experience tells me to let go and move on, cause they never come back. Maybe like the others, he'll patch things up with his ex and they'll live happily ever after.

What I really want to know is, if you can't trust your heart, what can you trust?